No one can come with me to where I must go. A place black as coal and cold as ice. To wrap my mind in anxiety and sorrow. And to leave this place full of stimulation and reaction. To a cocoon custom made for me. When the mind gets no better and no worse.

Sacrifice all happiness for no more pain. Sacrifice yourself to feel a little numb. Take on every worry and every sad thought. Remember every painful memory all at once. And slip away into the darkness where you can’t be seen. You can’t be seen and you can’t be touched. The world doesn’t exist and you choose not to acknowledge.

All the pain can’t match the joy I allow myself to feel. Stored all inside the actions I worshiped are killing me now. So different inside the show I portray out. The way my heart feels is the exact opposite to the face you remember. I’m hurting more than myself by feeling this way. So goodbye for now to a journey that begins far, far away.

~ May, 2007

Something tells me there’s something wrong in my life. When I have images of standing in blood with my favorite knife. When the sun never rises to offer a new day. With hidden thoughts that I dare not to say. When I wake up and I don’t care to rise from bed. Would the world worsen if I were dead?

Because I have nothing to share for ALL my pain. I have nothing to give to all those who depend on me. I reform to act out the thoughts that race through my brain. When I could swear I had wings to fly away with to be free.

I thought I could take any quest that came my way. Now my defense is so shattered, at any chance I run away. I say that my wall is too damn tall to climb. But demons influence evil through me all the time. Then again happiness doesn’t come from just who you may be. Take a chance, make a risk, you’ll find out, you will see.

~ Summer, 2007

This.. isn’t one of my favorite literary ideas, nor is it something i think could, or would, make a good book…. It’s just something I’ve thought up, and intent to follow through on…

Kids… Thats all we were then. Before all the dissapearances…the killing. The six of us had never known each-other, except me and my little brother… But If I could go back and change a bit of it, I never would. We grew so much through that, we became a true family…We learned that ” United We Stand, Divided We Fall ” wasn’t just something you read on a shirt. We were young, yeah…but we were together..we were strong.. and no matter what happened, we would never forget each-other.

That struck me as something you would read on the cover of some romance novel though..but I dont really want to change it…

It’s true what they say, isn’t it? That bad things happen to good people? All it takes is a mere moment of reflection for anyone with even an ounce of observance to know that such a statement is true… Yes, bad things seem to almost compliment the good people of the world, searching for innocence and disrupting the quiet of it, turning it into burning hatred, or dark suspision… Pushing people to kill, or to abandon…Some say that death is a bad thing… But you really must ask yourself, Is it really so bad? Does death not free you from the bonds of the world? Yes, these questions need to be asked, but there is no true answer, and such questions are made forfeit to the world’s brutality…

Why must I write such things?  I’m not sure… but I know them to be true to myself, and I know them to make sense to me, and is that not what truly matters? that you know and understand what is truly within each of us?

Food for thought, people….D-Ty

( Just ranting, that was…. not sure why..)

I was going through my notebook and seen that this writing is a year old almost to the day of which i was reading. I like to date a lot of my things, drawings and the such, any kind of art to see how much i progress.

Valentines 2009
“For some time ive felt something inside of me, something that we all may feel. The true road to being happy and the road to peach within myself. I’ve been searching and searching for this … and have come close to figuring what i must do.
It doesn’t suprise me that it scares me, as most people’s destiny is not easy to obtain. But its definetly something i must do. I feel it in my heart, and it yearns everyday i put it off. For so long Ive been not happy in my soul and have tried over and over to manover my way around it but there is only one path that will take me where i belong and am seeking the guts to start my travels. I feel im very close to starting this trek and am preparing myself mentally for the inevitable road i must face. I feel that i at least know where i must begin, because i think that a lot of people live thier lives through, searching and searching and never finding their way. That is why I must do this, I will regret it for the rest of my life and never obtain the happiness i can only see in my dreams.”

Feb. 13 2010
When I look back apon this I see that I had already started my travels way before I wrote this. This road is a very long one that I think I started a few years before I wrote that. When I lived in Mt. Vernon I let go, and let the chips fall where they may. The way I am today has roots that begins there. Everything seemed harder. It seemed that for every good thing 10 bad things HAD to happen, it was just the way it all worked. You start to search for the bad things in life. This is what my personal Hell is. You’re constantly falling and you don’t know it. You’re dead and you don’t know it. “The real Hell is your life gone wrong.” My way of thinking was very twisted, and needed help to see where I was and learn how to help myself crawl out of the cave I lived in. Easily one of the most important lessons of my life is to see outside myself, to look in, and see the problems that I exibit and and try to change them or live peacefully among them. Living in peace is everything for me, everything else is secondary.

I was speaking with a co-worker the other day who introduced me to a website which houses a large database of pdf/text files. You’ll find things like sheet music scanned into PDF format, Dilbert cartoons, instruction/product manuals, cooking recipes, etc. You name it. I think of it as YouTube for documents, rather than videos. It’s an outstanding resource and you don’t have to worry about copyright infringement. Somehow, it’s legal. Take a look for yourself:

My kiwi doesn’t want to die
But he must, if he wants to make the world happy
Surrounded by his jealous peachy relatives
He skips and plays among the fruit
Until at random a cherry appears
Stopping the kiwi at once with its tears
Until the knife cuts right through his skin
Multiple times, until he is sliced thin
The cheers from the crowd are louder than the screams of the kiwi being pushed into the pie mix-I push once and the kiwi bites me, and rallies the ranks of its sweet army.
Set to destroy me, the kiwi puts itself together
And pokes my eye out with a twizzler, a black one that tastes of broccoli. I open the fridge and an army of garlicky breadsticks parachute from the top shelf using leaves of lettuce screaming obscenities at the pill covered floor.

I swear I was half high when I wrote this XD

Randomnes writing is what I do best, I think ^_^

Time for us to take on the world of social networking and get some more PR.

Become A Fan

Below is an image from Forza Motorsport 3′s photo mode. I took this while racing with two friends.

I took this image to photoshop to create a sig for a forum and came up with the following.

Let me know what you think. Note: I cut the spoiler off of the Mercedes. This will be fixed. =)