I was going through my notebook and seen that this writing is a year old almost to the day of which i was reading. I like to date a lot of my things, drawings and the such, any kind of art to see how much i progress.

Valentines 2009
“For some time ive felt something inside of me, something that we all may feel. The true road to being happy and the road to peach within myself. I’ve been searching and searching for this … and have come close to figuring what i must do.
It doesn’t suprise me that it scares me, as most people’s destiny is not easy to obtain. But its definetly something i must do. I feel it in my heart, and it yearns everyday i put it off. For so long Ive been not happy in my soul and have tried over and over to manover my way around it but there is only one path that will take me where i belong and am seeking the guts to start my travels. I feel im very close to starting this trek and am preparing myself mentally for the inevitable road i must face. I feel that i at least know where i must begin, because i think that a lot of people live thier lives through, searching and searching and never finding their way. That is why I must do this, I will regret it for the rest of my life and never obtain the happiness i can only see in my dreams.”

Feb. 13 2010
When I look back apon this I see that I had already started my travels way before I wrote this. This road is a very long one that I think I started a few years before I wrote that. When I lived in Mt. Vernon I let go, and let the chips fall where they may. The way I am today has roots that begins there. Everything seemed harder. It seemed that for every good thing 10 bad things HAD to happen, it was just the way it all worked. You start to search for the bad things in life. This is what my personal Hell is. You’re constantly falling and you don’t know it. You’re dead and you don’t know it. “The real Hell is your life gone wrong.” My way of thinking was very twisted, and needed help to see where I was and learn how to help myself crawl out of the cave I lived in. Easily one of the most important lessons of my life is to see outside myself, to look in, and see the problems that I exibit and and try to change them or live peacefully among them. Living in peace is everything for me, everything else is secondary.

I was speaking with a co-worker the other day who introduced me to a website which houses a large database of pdf/text files. You’ll find things like sheet music scanned into PDF format, Dilbert cartoons, instruction/product manuals, cooking recipes, etc. You name it. I think of it as YouTube for documents, rather than videos. It’s an outstanding resource and you don’t have to worry about copyright infringement. Somehow, it’s legal. Take a look for yourself:

My kiwi doesn’t want to die
But he must, if he wants to make the world happy
Surrounded by his jealous peachy relatives
He skips and plays among the fruit
Until at random a cherry appears
Stopping the kiwi at once with its tears
Until the knife cuts right through his skin
Multiple times, until he is sliced thin
The cheers from the crowd are louder than the screams of the kiwi being pushed into the pie mix-I push once and the kiwi bites me, and rallies the ranks of its sweet army.
Set to destroy me, the kiwi puts itself together
And pokes my eye out with a twizzler, a black one that tastes of broccoli. I open the fridge and an army of garlicky breadsticks parachute from the top shelf using leaves of lettuce screaming obscenities at the pill covered floor.

I swear I was half high when I wrote this XD

Randomnes writing is what I do best, I think ^_^

Time for us to take on the world of social networking and get some more PR.

Become A Fan

Below is an image from Forza Motorsport 3′s photo mode. I took this while racing with two friends.

I took this image to photoshop to create a sig for a forum and came up with the following.

Let me know what you think. Note: I cut the spoiler off of the Mercedes. This will be fixed. =)

All around me, I find my influence,
Of all these things, I try to make sense,
Even in a perfect picture, of the perfect dawn,
It remains inside me, that which drives me on,
Never a complaint, nor the harshest scolding,
Could open my eyes to what my hands were holding,
And while I search for whom I want to be,
This self-realization has set me free.

A Soldier.

When you look into your dreams and see your

brothers beside you with a helmet, a gun, trenched

in mud listening to his voice the best you can…

among the gunfire..

you think the sky is falling down.

You know i have achieved alot today. I got my

own apartment…a nice apartment. Its mine. I

got a big screen t.v with surround sound with a

xbox 360….a polar bear rug, full kitchen set.

But you know what i really don’t give a damn.

i got money online in poker…i am just waiting

for my bonus to clear…but i really fucking

dont give a damn…i dont fucking care…I dont give a damn.

But do you know why i don’t give a fucking monkey rats fucking a.s.s(excuse my profanity….i am just writing what i think). It’s because….in life..in life……it don’t mean a damn thing. What means the most to me is my soldiers.

I speak to you in Truth…i Speak to you in volume…..i Speak to you as my brother…..Charles Dustman i speak to you alone as my Brother.

We never see each other but i think…….i think….i wish to know….that it will change very soon…God Willing.

I don’t know much of what to say but you are a good soldier and i would be proud to die for our country in your platoon. If you were to die in my arms….you would achieve the Medal Of Honor my brother. Don’t ever forget our memories…..our words.

I am far from a soldier….The real soldier’s are fighting for our freedoms as we sleep peacefully in our deluxe apartments and vacation sweets. The real soldiers are fighting for our way of being an American…..they are sleeping in harms way in a TENT for God sakes. Keep reading my passages you will soon relize my way of thinking….I give no pity for the rich….i dont worship their money,…they never really deserve it.

You know i have a dream……if i do….if  i do make it in my day.  I am a very great poker player online….and live. Once i take from the rich. I will give it back to the children….i will cherish the America’s poor with toy’s. That is my dream…..and i will live my dream…or die trying.

This is for our SOLDIERS!!!!!!!!

God Bless Everyone

You know….

I am just but a simple man.

I do love…..i do hurt….i do cry…i do feel. When

i write today….i write because there is something

inside of me that tells me to….because i do feel.

I dont write very much nor do i wish to because

i don’t want to….let me put it this way i don’t

want to think when i write i just want to write

what i feel…..do you understand?…….

for i am just a simple man.

It’s always good to think about what u write but

to me it isnt the same. When you pause amongst

yourselves or you think of something smart to

say it doesnt mean didly squat to me for i am

just a simple man.

When you correct yourselves in the appropiate way for knowone to relize you did….i don’t care. When i write i write because i feel like i should write..not for you…but for me.

I am just a simple man that i do care more then the average man…my heart pumps faster….my desire to feel…my desire to accomplish is the same or better.

but still i a am a simple man.

I will love my family…..i will always love my family…i will protect my family…i will DIE…for my family..i will.

I will fight for my country, i will stand up for what’s right..

I will.

But still i am a simple man.

I had a sudden glance or vision as i was riding
to the store. It was like any other ride as my legs

where moving fast as they should but only faster

because i told them to push faster.

Then i stopped….i looked around me and i paused

for a moment….i stopped. I looked up at the sky

only to see our wonderful blue sky we see each day

. I glanced at all the people moving in cars beside

me and I really thought to myself.

God i really love, thank you for all that you have

giving me, my eyes,….my legs,…my arms…my brain

and everything that i have that i take granted for.

Stop and think about yourself. Stop and think for just one second what would life be…..Let’s break it down my men…my brothers…my sisters. What if your brain told you to get up and walk to the fridge….but you didn’t have any legs because they got blown off by a mortar in the moment of war to capture our VERY FREEDOM, or didn’t work no MORE BECAUSE OF CANCER!.

Let’s stop to think if we wanted to lift an object but couldn’t because our arms had to be cut off to save a life?….to save a child in a split second?. Let’s stop and think what would it be like to just THINK of what life would be like to not see the board at school, to not read our assignment at work because we was unfortunate to be born blind.

Lets just stop and think what it would be like not be to able to move. To be parylized from the neck down. Now as i write this it is getting harder and harder to keep the tears from dripping down my eyes….It’s real hard my brothers…it’s real hard everybody to stop and think what u HAVE…..WHAT YOU HAVE!!.

It hurts…..as the tears fall down my eyes my fingers slide up and down this keyboard only to relize that i am ONE LUCKY MOTHER FUCKER!…..and i mean that from the bottom of my heart because i wouldnt have it any other way.

So…..a tear drop down my face…a pause to close my eyes. It’s hard to breathe….but i thank God that i am breathing…..Amen.

Thanks God Bless Everyone.

This… Is my first attempt at a song… and was written at a rather.. difficult time.  But I figured, what the heck, might as well show it to the rest of the world… or, at least, you guys ^_^ Enjoy..

Come To Stay

Verse 1
Why does every day out here
Seem so freakin long to me?
Is it cuz I have no life,
Have no friends, no family?
Why can’t I admit im scared of letting someone close to me?
I think it s my insecurity.

Chorus 1
All alone, all alone out here
Nothing but me and my endless tears
Let your feelings fall away
Come to heaven come to stay

Verse 2
The devils closing in on me
Grinning yellow, rotted teeth
Standing there with open arms
Me succumbing to his charms
I turn to run but he’s still here
Whispering softly into my ear

Chorus 2
You’re all alone, all alone out here
Nothing but you and you’re endless tears
Let you’re feelings fall away
Come with me, child,
Come to stay

Verse 3
I have lots of friends down here
Long forgotten is my trail of tears
But I still here you call my name
And I yearn to see your face again
But I can’t leave here, here im strong
I wish to god you had come along

Chorus 3
Not alone anymore out here
But you’re the glisten in my tears
I may not have a beating heart
But you’ve been with me from the start
Just let your feelings lead the way
Come to me, love
Come to stay